A Karissa Shannon sex tape doesn’t merely exist, as confirmed by the former Playboy model herself. But the video is the most extreme Steven Hirsch has ever seen, and this is a man who knows his sex tapes! He’s the chairman of Vivid Entertainment, the adult movie company for celebrities seeking attention. Why is Karissa Shannon smiling?

So… how have you shown love for your significant other today? A 68-year old British man named Bob Baker has tattooed a cartoon-like version of his wife on to his bald head, as the image depicts Kelly Baker in a bikini and high heels, pushing a lawn mower. Is Bob embarrassed in any way? Nope! “75% of people who have seen it say it’s wicked and come up and shake my hand,” he told the BBC.

In joining Dancing with the Stars, does Nicole Scherzinger have an unfair advantage? As a member of the Pussycat Dolls, the girl sort of dances for a living already. Whatever. She may have the edge over Buzz Aldrin and Kate Gosselin, but Season 10 (premiering Monday) is wide open. Think Nicole has what it takes to triumph?

A few weeks ago, Demi Lovato told Ryan Seacrest that Trace Cyrus was simply a “really good friend.” But Lovato was either lying; didn’t emphasize the really strongly enough; or forgot to add the words “… with benefits” to her description. After all, these two rising stars have continued to flirt via Twitter, as Miley’s older brother relayed the following two messages to Lovato (and thousands of others, of course) last night:

Shia LaBeouf is here to say he’s sorry. Okay, he’s here to say A LOT of other stuff as well. The actor, who has become as well-known for his outbursts these days as for his IMDB resume, opens way up in the latest issue of Esquire, talking about his recent arrests… how he now views them… and what he thinks of God.